There’s no easy way to say this, but the twin flame narrative is harmful. While many people cling to it as a form of spiritual growth, healing, or romantic destiny, the truth is that it’s a trap—one that can leave you emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually drained.
I’ve been sharing the truth about this concept, and I know that for some, what I’m about to say may trigger deeply held beliefs. When you’ve been told that the highs and lows of your relationship are “meant to be,” hearing otherwise can feel like an attack on your entire worldview. But it’s precisely that emotional attachment to the twin flame belief that is part of the harm.
Let’s start by addressing the pain this belief system perpetuates:
• Endless Waiting: One of the most damaging aspects of the twin flame narrative is the belief that you must wait for your “other half” to awaken, heal, or return to you. This leaves people in limbo for months, even years, putting their own growth and happiness on hold for someone who may never come back or, even worse, may not even be a healthy match.
• Romanticizing Toxic Relationships: The twin flame concept often promotes the idea that separation, emotional volatility, and intense pain are normal or even necessary for growth. What it really does is romanticize toxic patterns, leaving people in situations they would otherwise leave behind—waiting for their “runner” to return or enduring emotional abuse because it’s seen as part of the spiritual process.
• Emotional Dependency: Twin flame ideology often mirrors the emotional patterns found in insecure attachment styles, such as anxious or avoidant attachment. This creates a toxic dynamic where individuals become emotionally dependent on someone who is unavailable, causing stress, anxiety, and endless heartache.
• False Hope and Disillusionment: One of the most heart-wrenching harms is the false hope it instills. The idea that your twin flame will eventually “wake up” or realize you’re meant to be together is, for many, a devastating illusion. This hope can prevent you from moving on, finding a healthy partner, or even recognizing your own worth outside of the relationship.
But here’s the truth: There is no evidence that the twin flame concept is real. The idea is rooted in modern spiritual movements, drawing loosely on mythology and attachment theory, but it has no historical or psychological backing. It’s a romanticized delusion that keeps people trapped in fantasy instead of living in reality.
Some people might feel triggered when reading this. Why? Because challenging a belief system that you’ve invested so much of your time, energy, and heart into is uncomfortable. It forces you to confront the possibility that you’ve been misled, and that the suffering you’ve endured wasn’t for some greater spiritual purpose—it was the result of buying into a harmful narrative.
The reason some groups, like “I Am Twin Flame,” silence opposing views and remove people who question the narrative is because they’ve built their identity and often their profit on this belief. They don’t want to hear the truth, and they certainly don’t want their followers hearing it either. These groups are profiting off your pain, reinforcing the narrative because it keeps you coming back, feeling broken, and searching for answers they can conveniently sell you.
But it’s time to break free from this. The emotional, spiritual, and psychological costs of buying into this delusion are too high. The twin flame narrative is not the key to spiritual growth or finding love. It’s a cage, built on false promises and emotional turmoil.
In this new forum category, I will continue to provide you with evidence, personal stories, and resources to help you break free from the twin flame illusion. This is about reclaiming your power and stepping into healthy, grounded relationships based on truth and emotional health, not fantasy.
I understand this may not be easy to hear, but please know that my heart is in this because I’ve been there too. I founded the Unconditional Self-Love Twin Flame community years ago and, after seeing the pain and delusion it perpetuated, I removed the label entirely and created Awakened Souls Dating and Relationships, now with 100,000 members.
The path forward is one of healing and clarity, not waiting for someone else to complete you. I hope these posts will help you to see that for yourself.
With love,
Ryan Jordan
Founder, Awakened Souls Dating and Relationships