The twin flame concept, often described as two souls that are destined to meet and complete each other, shares similarities with some ideas in Aristophanes’ speech in Plato’s Symposium, but when compared to the full range of views on love from the other speakers, it becomes clear that the twin flame narrative is oversimplified, misleading, and at times a romanticized myth. In fact, examining these classic philosophical insights reveals that the twin flame idea falls short and even borders on a joke when it comes to a deeper understanding of love, connection, and personal growth.
Let’s break down why the twin flame myth is flawed and misleading using the different perspectives from Plato’s Symposium:
1. Phaedrus: Love as Heroic and Virtuous
Phaedrus talks about love inspiring great acts of courage and self-sacrifice. He emphasizes that love makes us strive to be better, to perform noble deeds for the sake of our beloved.
However, the twin flame narrative tends to focus on an obsessive connection where individuals justify toxic behavior (such as intense highs and lows or emotional instability) in the name of “finding their other half.” This is far from virtuous. Instead of making people better, the twin flame obsession can leave individuals stuck in a cycle of pain, which Phaedrus would likely view as a corruption of love’s true potential. Twin flames often glorify suffering as part of a “journey,” but this has nothing to do with the heroic self-sacrifice that Phaedrus praises. Real love elevates you—twin flame myths drag you down.
2. Pausanias: The Two Kinds of Love
Pausanias distinguishes between Common Love (shallow, physical) and Heavenly Love (a deep, intellectual, and spiritual connection). He highlights that true love should elevate both people, focusing on moral growth and companionship.
In the twin flame myth, there is often a blurring of these two loves. The twin flame idea presents a connection that feels “spiritual,” but is often confused with intense physical or emotional chemistry. In reality, what many people experience is the whirlwind of Common Love, which lacks depth, but they mistake it for something divine or destined. Pausanias would see this as misguided—real love isn’t just about intensity, it’s about mutual growth and maturity. The twin flame narrative frequently skips this, romanticizing drama over genuine connection.
3. Eryximachus: Love as Harmony and Balance
Eryximachus extends the concept of love to the entire cosmos, saying that love creates balance and harmony everywhere. He would view love as something that brings people into alignment, creating peace and health within relationships, the body, and the natural world.
The twin flame journey is anything but harmonious. It’s often described as chaotic, full of emotional turbulence, and involves a push-pull dynamic between two people. The constant chasing and running dynamic that’s so often part of the twin flame myth is the antithesis of balance. Love, as Eryximachus describes it, should bring peace and equilibrium—not stress and emotional upheaval. The idea that this level of instability is somehow spiritual is a joke in the face of real love, which should foster calm and growth.
4. Aristophanes: Love as the Search for Wholeness
This is where the twin flame myth seems to get its inspiration. Aristophanes gives us a charming and humorous myth that we were once whole, spherical beings, split apart by Zeus, and love is our search for our missing half. Twin flames often latch onto this idea of finding their “other half”, believing they are incomplete without their twin flame.
While the story is beautiful and poetic, it’s also a myth. The real message here isn’t that we need someone else to be whole, but that love helps us discover a sense of completeness within ourselves. The twin flame narrative misinterprets this, promoting codependency and the idea that you’re not enough without your “twin.” This creates a toxic cycle where people feel they must endure unhealthy relationships for the sake of “destiny” rather than focusing on self-love and personal growth. The true joke is believing you are inherently incomplete without someone else—real love doesn’t make you whole, it helps you realize you were whole all along.
5. Agathon: Love as Virtue and Beauty
Agathon gives an idealized, almost romanticized view of love, claiming that love is young, beautiful, and the source of all goodness and virtue. While he presents love as the inspiration for justice, wisdom, and creativity, it’s important to note that his view is highly idealized.
The twin flame myth tends to idolize the connection in a similar way—people speak of their twin flame as if the relationship is inherently more beautiful or special than any other. But, much like Agathon’s speech, this idealized vision often has little grounding in reality. The intensity of the twin flame experience is frequently just an excuse for unrealistic expectations or to mask a relationship full of emotional pain. This obsession with the idea of a “perfect” relationship is not about love; it’s about clinging to an illusion. Real love is about seeing your partner clearly, flaws and all, and working together to grow—not putting them on a pedestal and suffering through dysfunction for the sake of the “dream.”
6. Socrates (via Diotima): Love as the Pursuit of Wisdom
Socrates delivers Diotima’s teachings, which take love beyond mere human connection. She explains that love is the desire for beauty and wisdom, and that true love leads us up a Ladder of Love—from physical attraction, to intellectual companionship, to the contemplation of higher truths. The highest form of love is the pursuit of truth and wisdom, not another person.
The twin flame myth, in contrast, traps people in the lower rungs of the ladder—obsessing over one person as though they are the answer to all their spiritual problems. Rather than progressing toward wisdom, twin flames are often stuck in cycles of emotional turmoil. Diotima would likely say that those chasing a twin flame are missing the point of love entirely—real love should elevate you toward a greater understanding of life and yourself, not keep you in a constant loop of drama and suffering.
7. Alcibiades: The Misguided Worship of the Beloved
Alcibiades interrupts the symposium to praise Socrates and laments that he could never seduce him. He describes Socrates as someone who embodies true wisdom and virtue, while Alcibiades is more concerned with physical attraction. Alcibiades’ admiration for Socrates highlights how love for a person can sometimes be misguided, focusing too much on the object of affection and not on what the relationship is meant to teach.
In twin flame relationships, the misguided worship of the other person is a common problem. People get so fixated on their “twin” that they lose sight of their own growth or purpose. Like Alcibiades, they may be pursuing an unattainable ideal, leading to frustration and heartache. The twin flame myth encourages this idolization, which is a joke when you consider Socrates’ wisdom: love should be about self-improvement and seeking higher truths, not placing someone else on a pedestal.
Conclusion: The Twin Flame Myth as a Joke on True Love
The twin flame narrative, when examined against the backdrop of the profound and varied views on love presented in Plato’s Symposium, reveals itself to be a shallow, romanticized distortion of what love truly is. It’s a joke that elevates pain, suffering, and obsession over the genuine virtues of love—growth, balance, and the pursuit of wisdom.
Love, as described by these philosophers, is about becoming your best self, finding harmony, and striving for something higher—not about waiting for someone to “complete” you or chasing an endless emotional rollercoaster. The twin flame myth does more to distract from the real purpose of love than to enlighten, trapping people in illusions of destiny and obsession rather than helping them evolve into whole, independent individuals capable of experiencing true, healthy relationships.