For admin and co-founder Ryan J., building community around Unconditional Self Love was something he had unknowingly been doing his entire life — simply by being himself. As he explains, “I grew up feeling a lot. I knew I had a gift of empathy — of being able to really, truly understand and connect with others.”
While extending love and care to others and helping them accept and celebrate themselves is second nature to him, Ryan ultimately started this group out of necessity. In order to navigate his own hardships in life, he realized he had to openly and outwardly embrace his own vulnerability.
“[Before starting this group] I was working 60-70 hours a week. I was burning myself out on work, and neglecting my physical health. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I took a step back and was like, ‘Wow, I really need to heal myself.’ I couldn’t just rely on doctors to help me with that, or to help me navigate all my emotional needs at the time. So I started this group — for the people, by the people.”
And, it would seem, this simple message is one that really resonated with people. Since its inception in 2018, Unconditional Self Love has amassed over 30,000 members and inspired multiple sub-groups, which Ryan also manages (including a dating group for singles). It’s also helped him grow his meditation practice and his consulting business, allowed him to meet friends and clients from all around the world, and has motivated his travels to over 15 countries. Ryan is quick to credit his personal success to the group, but also underscores the broader value of the community, emphasizing the power of a collective to make real change.
“It starts with just finding the right people. Your people. Same vibe, same vision, same views on life. But together we can really make a difference — really make the world a better place. [Together] we’ll choose to raise our kids as emotionally available, choose to do things with patience and thoughtfulness. A shift in perspective can change the world.”
While Ryan follows a fairly self-rigorous schedule for his own day-to-day activities (including a 5 am wake up time followed by meditation and dedicated time for content creation, before he dives into his work day at 8 am), his approach to managing his community is more rooted in collaboration over discipline. Decisions are made openly and collectively with his trusted admin team of 25, allowing space for everyone to weigh in and be heard.
“I knew it was important for our team culture to be the strongest aspect of this community. It’s absolutely vital that we build trust in one another, find strength in one another, and truly connect on the same page. We have a whole bunch of these different group chats where we all can update each other in real time. Proper collaboration fits everyone’s needs—we don’t make any decisions until everyone weighs in and signs off. If it takes us a year, it takes us a year.”
While he feels called to serve his community in a way that supports their ongoing journey towards self love and self acceptance, Ryan knows that the best way to tend to his group is through active listening. Instead of solely defining the direction the group is headed in next, he finds more value in seeing his role as part of a relationship: when he evolves, the community evolves, and vice versa. It’s important to him to nurture the ideas of the community, and get their involvement whenever possible, whether by hopping on to Facebook Live or sending out a community poll. In fact, it’s integral to the growth process.
"Global Game Changers: Ryan J. On Growing A Vibe Into A Vision" | Facebook Community Featured
“Growing as a group means I must grow as a leader. I want to ask more questions, get more [of my community] involved, and create more of a space for sharing. What are you working on? What techniques are you using? How do you meditate and what does it mean to you? We do this for them, you know, the community. So they should have a say.”
Ultimately, what we can learn from Ryan is that decision making rooted in care and consideration over ego or self interest offers some built-in longevity. Working through problems together, and working to build up one another along the way, leaves each community member feeling more invested in themselves, in one another, and in the group’s success as a whole. When one succeeds, they all succeed.
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